When Stress Steals Your Clarity: Working Through Emotional Dysregulation
I want to share something real with you, something that many people feel but few admit out loud.
Leadership and life can be so overwhelming that we stop being able to be ourselves.
Stress and pressure slowly seep in and starts to shut down the very parts of you that makes you, You. Kind, connected, supportive, present.
I’ve been there, and maybe you have too. You’re in a conversation that unfolds into a direction that you don't feel comfortable taking. You can feel your pulse quicken. Thoughts start racing. Your chest tightens and your breathing becomes shallow. That familiar wave of fear, frustration or overwhelm rises. And suddenly, you’re not just responding, you’re reacting.
Stress and pressure can slowly seep in
Subtle and sneaky, taking over our nervous system.
Clouding our minds.
Shutting down the very parts of you that makes you, You.
This is emotional dysregulation.
It’s the subtle, sneaky way stress takes over our nervous system and clouds our mind. It’s those moments when staying calm and in control feels impossible. When managing your response in a way that aligns with your values and goals seems like a distant dream.
Maybe it shows up as a snap at a colleague or withdrawing from a tense conversation. Maybe it’s the internal chaos you carry long after the moment has passed, the rumination, the ‘what ifs,’ the ‘shoulda, coulda woulda’s’, the self-doubt creeping in. Physical signs like tightness in your chest, a clenched jaw, or shallow breaths become constant companions. Your mind either races or narrows into tunnel vision. You find it harder to make decisions, to think clearly, to be the leader you know you can be.
Here’s the hard truth: if these patterns go unchecked, they don’t just undermine us in that moment, they can erode trust, fray relationships, and impact our sense of who we are.
So I invite you to pause and reflect with me:
When do you notice stress stealing your clarity?
How do you usually respond when overwhelm hits?
What early signs have you been ignoring, hoping they’ll just go away?
These are not easy questions, but they’re vital. Because recognising these moments is the first step toward change.
Learning to lean in to dysregulation
Very early on in my life, I learned the power of leaning into these moments at work and when supporting people in my personal life. Noticing when things are becoming difficult and addressing issues with care, trust, and a growth mindset is powerful. I believe these conversations are easier for me because the outcomes are usually clear and less personal. I know how to hold space, be present, and work toward solutions that empower everyone involved.
But managing emotional dysregulation has been a very different story in my relationships. In my past relationships, I was guarded and high-masking. Without realising it at the time, I only shared the parts of myself that were neutral or that I could package into a neat description. I was still authentically me, but it was the fun loving generous side that was always ready and willing to do things for others. I didn’t show the full spectrum of who I am, the person with needs, fears and worries stated hidden, protected.
Now, in my relationship with my beautiful girlfriend, I want to be fully me. No filters, no masks. That means feeling deeply, across the full range of emotions, even the messy, uncomfortable ones. It hasn’t been easy. There have been moments of overwhelm, confusion, and vulnerability that I never allowed myself to feel before. But it’s been so worth it.
Our first trip together in New Zealand
This personal journey has shown me just how crucial it is to manage emotional dysregulation, not just for relationships, but for leadership too. Because when you can’t regulate, your clarity dims, your decisions suffer, and the connections that matter start to fray.
If you’re reading this and feeling that familiar tightness, that racing mind, or the exhaustion that follows, know this: you’re not alone. And it doesn’t have to be this way.
Finding clarity and connection through Embodied Insights
My approach, Embodied Insights Coaching, is designed to help people like you break free from this cycle. To reconnect with your inner calm and clarity. To reclaim the presence and grounded confidence that let you lead powerfully, even in the hardest moments.
If you want to explore how this might look for you, I’d love to hear from you. Click the CONNECT button to message me, and we can start the conversation.
Or click the Learn More button to read more about what Embodied Insights Coaching is and the difference it makes.
Because life isn’t just about pushing through, it’s about showing up as your fullest, clearest, most vibrant self.
