This fury is Sacred

It’s so important we learn how to honour our anger as part of healing.

When people first meet me, they often comment on how big and bright my smile is, a smile that sparkles with warmth. They share how much they love my laugh, the way it bursts through so easily, untamed and full of mischief. They share their appreciation for how effortlessly I find moments of lightness and joy while holding space for all the messiness in life.

But that’s only part of the story…

There are many layers to who I am, shaped by some brutal chapters throughout my life. And while I often bounce around full of love and light, parts of me are fuelled by fire. Forged by darkness. I’ve been trying to keep these parts quiet.

I lived through some horrendous moments in my childhood and adult life; moments where I was left to fend for myself because no one was there to protect me. The trauma of those moments haven’t stayed in the past. They keep showing up, loudly, repeatedly, uninvited. A shadow of my past charges into the present hijacking me in a flashback, triggering overwhelming pain in every part of my being, stealing any sense of safety I’ve built.

Add to that the intensity of neurodivergent meltdowns and the chaos of perimenopause, and my nervous system sparks like a wildfire. My reactions become overwhelming for everyone, including me. And it’s in these moments where I turn on myself. I abandon my own pain, trying to silence it, shame myself for feeling too much, push it all down and wish it would all go away.

But not anymore.

There are two very important voices that need to be heard in those moments:

There’s a frightened little girl who is curled up in fear whispering for someone to come and save her.

And there’s her fierce inner protector who immediately rises to take charge.

The inner protector is loud and she’s angry. And she has every damn right to be.

She is the one who has always been yelling ‘NO MORE!’. The one who fights against anyone who is mistreating my frightened inner child. The one who is now refusing to bury the pain or shrink it down to make others comfortable.

My inner protectors voice, her fire, her boundaries. Her strength! She is everything I needed all those years ago.

She is here to defend, to speak the truth, to rage when rage is righteous. And she deserves to be heard.

It’s ironic really, that I spent years so desperately yearning to have someone to protect me... but kept shaming that part of me that keeps trying to.

Now, I’m learning to hold space for both, the scared inner child and the fierce protector. I’m learning to see them and listen to them with tenderness and respect.

The pain that my inner child lived through isn’t too much. The anger and fury my protector feels aren’t wrong. Both are real. Both are a part of me. And neither deserves to be silenced anymore.

The little one deserves to be held in comfort, to know she is safe, and she is loved. The protector deserves to be heard, to stand tall and be respected.

When I stop trying to silence them and distance myself from them, I start to heal. When I start to see them and care for them I become whole, a person who feels deeply, speaks truthfully, and rises fiercely. Not in spite of what I’ve lived through, but because of it. I’m learning to honour my fury for what it truly is, a sacred, powerful, and unapologetic force for deep healing.

If any part of this stirred something in you, a memory, a feeling, a fire in your belly, know this:

Your fury isn’t too much.

Your pain isn’t a problem to solve.

You don’t need to shrink yourself in shame because of how you feel.

If you want to learn how to meet your pain with curiosity and compassion, to listen to the message it carries, I’m here to help.

It’s time we stop shaming our inner fire and start letting it heal us.