Stress doesn’t always shout: Subtle signs not to ignore
Stress doesn’t look the same for every leader.
Some signs are obvious: snapping at people, raising your voice in a heated discussion, or visibly losing your cool under pressure. These moments stand out, and while uncomfortable, they’re easier to spot and reflect on.
The more damaging signs are often the quietest, and far too easy to dismiss. Subtle at first, we rationalise them away and keep pushing on. But over time they build, almost unnoticed, until suddenly the impact is impossible to ignore.
And that’s where many people become blindsided.
The Subtle Signs of Emotional Dysregulation in Leadership
While the “loud” expressions of stress draw attention, the “silent” ones are still there for us to pay attention to.
Have you noticed yourself:
Withdrawing during tough conversations because you don’t have the energy to stay engaged?
Feeling the fog roll in when it’s time to make an important decision?
Slipping into doing things yourself because it feels safer than others to do it for you?
Shutting down input from others because your patience is paper-thin?
Replaying difficult conversations long after they’re over?
While the subtle moments like withdrawing, brain fog, and shutting others out feel relatively benign compared to a full-blown stress attack, on the inside they are just as consuming. Each moment of dysregulation takes a toll tightening the body, clouding focus, and training the nervous system to stay on high alert.
Over time, these small ripples add up, leaving us more reactive, depleted, and disconnected from our best selves. And they do more than just drain personal energy. Left unchecked, they:
Erode credibility: people notice when you become reactive instead of grounded.
Strain relationships: withdrawing or shutting others down chips away at trust.
Undermine resilience: the constant push-through cycle leaves you depleted and vulnerable.
What feels like a simple way to deal with a moment of stress can become a real inhibitor to how you show up around others, not to mention your health and wellbeing.
Take a moment to reflect:
What behaviors do I exhibit when under pressure that may impact my team?
How do my physical sensations alert me to rising stress or emotional overwhelm?
If you recognise these subtle patterns of behaviour in yourself, that’s great news! You’re getting valuable feedback from your nervous system. It’s your mind and body signalling that emotional dysregulation is starting to take control.
With awareness and practice, you can work with these early signs before they escalate. You can learn to respond differently, to regulate in ways that align with your values, and to show up as the leader you want to be: steady, credible, and connected.
Is Embodied Insight Coaching the support you need?
My Embodied Insight Coaching program helps people recognise and work with these patterns to respond with calmness and clarity.
Because life isn’t about never feeling stressed. It’s about learning to process stress without losing yourself or the trust of those who count on you.
Click learn more to read more about how Embodied Insight Coaching can help.
